


Angst and Ambien

by BelivetAndAird (rcks)



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kinktober, Smut, Substance Abuse, There will probably be smut in the future, This was in the drafts, This was just a draft but I think imma write another chapter of this?, future smut, hehe, lmk, more like angstober, what else do I tag????, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rcks/pseuds/BelivetAndAird
Summary: Zelda’s on the verge of an anxiety attack, takes the wrong medication and the rest? Well, we’ll just have to see...
Relationships: Zelda Spellman & Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Angst and Ambien

“—you’re never forthright!”

“It’s taking me time, I’m not used to this level of intimacy, my love.” She moved to place a hand on the other woman’s arm and was abruptly shaken away.

“No. No, don’t touch me.” The woman snarled. “All I asked of you was loyalty. To trust in you was the hardest thing to accomplish, you are well aware of that. Yet, I come home to find you—"

"—Zelda—“

"—galavanting here with a troupe of sex demons!" Zelda huffed, appraising Lilith, naked and mute afore her. No matter how hard Zelda struggled to maintain her stubborn self, the pressure in her head mounted so much so that her eyes stung and blurred over.

Lilith fucked up this time—hard. Zelda’s hurt measured up to be much more than they both expected. They’d fought before, of course. Usually Zelda was not one to show emotion—a sign of weakness in her regard. Moments of vulnerability made it all the worse, she much preferred to adopt a stoic demeanor in retaliation, yet, found it difficult to accomplish when it came to Lilith. Over the past year and a half, their rather casual, sex-focused relationship morphed into a sober partnership. The two women were not used to serious commitments when it came to relationships but agreed to work through their respective short comings. It was an attempt at building up a foundation for a healthy, nurturing relationship.

They’d each agreed to moderate their vices: Lilith with her recreational drug use and all to frequent murder sprees, and Zelda with her drinking and tendency to flagellate in response to her anxiety attacks. Lilith made her promise to begin psychological visits and medication to deal with her anxiety attacks. Most of all, they had promised each other what they’d never promise any other lover before—exclusivity in sex.

Needless to say, the occasional lapse in behavior on either part caused the relationship to be as turbulent as it was rewarding.

“Honestly." Zelda swung around and walked to the opposite end of the parlor to pour a healthy finger or two of bourbon trying desperately to hide the tears that now betrayed her stoicism. "You know as well as anyone that monogamy is not something I normally support, but we agreed to give it a shot. Demons and witches alike have been clawing at you since the dawn of time, perhaps I'm a fool to think our being together would change things."

Zelda's back remained the divider between the women—Lilith was still frozen over having been caught and witnessing the unravelling of her lover. With every sniffle, her heart truly ached.

"It was a lapse in judgement," the brunette whispered, "I never would have thought that you would be so affected..."

"But of course I would be, Lilith." The typical authoritative tone that characterized Zelda melted into a series of crackles. "I'm not your pretender, nor just your High Priestess. I'm your partner. I’d have expected more respect than this. All I asked for was loyalty.”

Zelda clutched the end table and shook her head in defeat before proceeding to down the entirety of her drink. Clearing her throat, a tightness began in her stomach and traveled like a vice grip to her chest then esophagus - her hands began to shake and her mind struggled to focus on the ground upon which she stood. She was far from drunk, she hadn't even begun drinking for the evening.

"Please...” Spoke a small voice from behind her.

That familiar hitch in Zelda’s chest hit again, her breath felt as though it were being vacuumed up and out of her lungs. She reached instinctively for the little orange bottle at the edge of the end table near the fireplace.

“Promises, promises.” Zelda droned on, shaking still. Whether it was with anger or in desperation to shove the waves of emotion and tears threatening to tumble out from her.

Her face began to crumple and, with her hair already in rollers for the night, Zelda had no veil of hair to shield her. She stood there losing composure, losing her self, recognition of where she in the middle of the room. She was small - child-like, even. The shaking won’t stop, hands shaking so intensely that the contents of the little orange bottle rattled, reminding Zelda where she was. She was irate, sad, withdrawn, betrayed, heartbroken... a goddamn smorgasbord of everything she didn’t want to feel and her mind was shutting down just trying to shove it all away. Lilith was talking but she couldn’t hear words. It was all a fucked up jumble. Lilith was screaming, she thought, or is that the pressure building in my ears. What’s that... roaring?

_Fuck this. I can’t take this, if I don’t actually get myself under control I need to take a Xanax._ Zelda remembered that orange bottle from the table, twisted open the cap and flicked a Xanax into her mouth, washing it down with another finger of bourbon. Except it wasn’t her Xanax. Her Xanax bottle was sitting atop her desk back at the Academy of Unseen Arts, what sat in an identical orange bottle at the table was the Ambien Zelda took refuge in for her insomniac tendencies.

It didn’t take long for Lilith to notice there was something off somewhere in Zelda sudden silence. The red head started again with the tirade but this time, her speech was slurred and slowed - Zelda now began to babble nonsensically, her face softened from anger into a confused far away look. She also appeared to gradually ebb where she stood, at this Lilith rose to her feet at once and hurried over to Zelda, taking her by either shoulder.

“I said I do not wish you to touch me.” Breathed the redhead before blacking out.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi peeps, long time no see. I missed writing and came across this -and many other drafts - and felt like posting 😭 Honestly speaking, I feel like this particular story is similar to how I’ve felt this past year. I had to take a break from this account/fandom to work on the quality of my personal life and how I spend my daily energies. 
> 
> While it was a MUCH needed process, I’m now ready to pick up the pen and start writing again! Don’t be afraid to tell me what you think about this ticket in the comments or say shoot me a dm on Twitter @belivetandaird :)


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